War Kittens and Puppies

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Good Morning Minions,

I woke up around two this morning, so I went out and made some toast. I was hungry and I figured I would fall back asleep after it, did I? Nope, The Grandmother of Satan had to wake up and ask me a question.

So I know what you're gonna say: Oh my Great and Beautiful Majesty, Was the she-bitches question?

Now my loyal and slightly honorable subjects aren't I a great psychic? Okay so here's the question, keep in mind she has no computer knowledge at all.

Daniel, why isn't there the little speaker thing down by the clock on the laptop?

So, your Queen sat there and looked at her like she was a nutter for a few seconds before saying: I have no clue, I mean yes its the same model of laptop as mine but I've used my brothers' and it feels so different, almost wrong.

See I'm the kind of person who attributes personalities to inanimate objects, my laptop is like a well-trained war kitten, his is like puppy. So when I didn't know what was wrong she verbally attacked me!

What do you mean it's not the same computer? What are you an idiot!?

So I tried to explain the War Tiger =/= Puppy analogies. She thought I was bloody mad, then again I sound a bit off my rocker!

Then it quickly escalated to a quieter version of a yelling match. Now I don't remember all that was said between Her and I, but now Shes now claiming that I called her many, many horrible names. Now I had just woken up, my brain wasn't thinking and wouldn't come up with really anything other than the stock insults. It went something like this:

You're neurotic, crazy, and psycho!

Daniel, you're rude and hateful!

And, Your point? I like that, I am rude and hateful, I am sin!

You don't have to live here, get out!

Uh, yeah I do. My mum lives here and she wouldn't let me leave even if you ordered her to.

You ungrateful child, do you know how much I do for you?

Well other than bitch about me you do laundry and cook dinner occasionally, and I do my own bloody laundry. From your malice I don't think I'll be eating any of your food you make, you'd poison me.

You are such a child, inconsiderate and disrespectful!

First of all I don't respect anyone who demands it, respect is earned, and second of all I'm not gonna respect you just because you're old and decrepit! So either you can like it or you can leave it because I am my own person and I think for myself, after all your god gave me free will.

My god, My god? Oh that's right you're a Satanist!

At that point I just walked away, whatever bitch. I was done, all I wanted was some toast! So later, an hour or so, Sugar, our dog, started barking. So the She-Devil sated to yell at the dog trying to make her stop, of course the good little doggy she was she didn't stop. Did I mention that I love that dog?  So I walked out there and sat down on the chair, the good little dog quickly quieted and jumped up on my lap! So I said the only thing I could, Good Girl! Then I whispered to her, Keep barking for a few hours after I leave and I'll give you a treat. Need less to say she kept it up.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Everything was found with Google, fry them not me!"][/caption]

So the wind was howling and the dog was barking, so I took that as a sign that Hecate would like me to invoke her, needless to say that I happily obliged. Actually I still have her burning through my body, I haven't felt this alive since the last time I invoked a deity and that was months ago. Something I've noticed that sometimes beings want to be invoked just so they can take your body for a ride, and another thing you are always hungry when they are in you, right now I'm trying to keep Her from eating everything in the fridge!

So at one point she's like: Can We at least have one thing?

I responded with: Okay, what is it Love?

We want something Greek!

Um, I don't think we have anything Greek, is Italian okay?

As long as it's pasta We're happy!

Yes I know it's a little weird talking to a deity when it's inside of you but its like you're having a conversation with a totally different person, only you're sharing a body. So I made some Fettuccine Alfredo, I don't know if that's Italian or not but she loved it. I'm pretty sure that Fettuccine Alfredo isn't the best thing to have at six in the morning but what The Bitch Queen wants she gets, well when Shes in my body anyway. I'm so hungry at the moment.  My head is buzzing from Hecate and I'm itching to do some divination.

So while I was making my food I was getting really weird looks from my family.

Daniel pasta isn't breakfast food.

We know.

When I used the royal plural I got even more weird looks. So when my mother was walking by I stopped her and I said that I needed a jar candle or two and some black glass paint, I need it for a scrying mirror. I also told my mom that her mother had verbally attacked me. Of course the bitch was listening and had to jump in, She said that I had called her all of these mean and hateful things when I didn't. Then like always my Mother agreed with Her!

So when my Grandmother had jumped in and started the fight again I just started  yelling right back with more fire than normal. All I have to say is that Hecate has some balls. At certain points of a possession the spirit and I become one, one mind and one body. Every thing that was said from my lips where what Hecate and I both said. Every insult that was fired at me angered Hecate, not only because every insult was directed at her as well it was more the fact that my Grandmother was insulting and attacking one of The Bitch Queens children. One of her many aspects is The Protectress, the other is The Destroyer.

And now with a goddess burning through my body I think I'm about to drop.

Good Night,

Her Imperial and Royal Majesty, By the Grace of God, The Defender of the Old Faith, Original Sin, The Queen of Harlots, Roses, Chaos, Heaven, Empress of India, The Tsar of Hell, Ruler of the Underworld,The Whore of Babylon, Heaven, and Hell, Pope of Discord, The Saint of Sinners, Lover to The Beast, Prophetess of the Old Religion, Priestess of the Greek Gods, Hecates’ Handmaiden, Sovereign over all, Daniel Ambrosius Devereux.

Thanksgiving and Christmas music

Hello peasants,

Thanksgiving went really well, it was really surprising actually. In my family it's practically a tradition that when we get together there is a big fight. It was a very yummy dinner, I really didn't eat all that much.

I took a break from the Wii for a while there, an eleven day break, I just got back on it and I apparently gained .2 pounds. It's not that bad if you think about the fact that Thanksgiving was just a few days ago. I did around fifty jack knives today and some time hooping, tomorrow I plan on doing more and throughout the day.

I am starting to my own laundry because I have very few clothes that fit and it takes a few days to get anything. I'm not angry that I have to do it, it's not all that hard. Usually my grandmother is supposed to do, we're lucky she cooks dinner, hell half the time she doesn't do that!

There is a snow storm going on up in O'Neil Nebraska, but it doesn't look like we'll be getting any of it, actually tomorrow is supposed to get up into the forties.

I just realized that an old spell backfired on me, well I knew it did that I just didn't want to acknowledge it, well I guess this will teach me not to do an obsession spell again.

On a side note I may be doing a post later bitching about this article.

Well I'm off I have people to take care of.

Her Imperial and Royal Majesty, By the Grace of God, The Defender of the Old Faith, Original Sin, The Queen of Harlots, Roses, Chaos, Heaven, Empress of India, The Tsar of Hell, Ruler of the Underworld,The Whore of Babylon, Heaven, and Hell, Pope of Discord, The Saint of Sinners, Lover to The Beast, Prophetess of the Old Religion, Priestess of the Greek Gods, Hecates’ Handmaiden, Sovereign over all, Daniel Ambrosius Devereux.

Raven Hair and Ruby Lips....

Hello my Glorious Minions,

So I know that I haven't posted for four days and I don't care.  I haven't done the Wii for a few days but then again I needed a break, on the 19th I went to O'Neil Nebraska with my Grandfather. It was a six-hour drive there and back so I brought my CD player along; So I listened to Cher for six hours straight, okay now I love Cher just as much as the next gay but six hours is a bit much. The shipment was approximately 1,800 pounds, it was fairly easy, the shipment was to a hospital so it was no real work.

I went to Ground Zero Comics this Saturday, I hadn't been going for the past few weeks. I went and babysat my aunts dogs most of those times and once or twice I hadn't been feeling all so well. So I played Pathfinders first slot, My witch, Aradia, finally made third level I have yet to really choose which hex to go with, I'll probably go with the flight hex or slumber hex. Second slot I played Rokugan, I made a Crane Courtier named Doji Yomi. It was interesting to play, I wouldn't play it religiously but it was good, its a very political setting so I mostly just sat and watched the groups interactions.

As of late my Grandmother had been stirring up some drama. My Uncle and his girlfriend have been doing drugs, I figured that they where at least doing pot. I really don't care if they are doing pot or anything else, and anyway pot isn't even a drug in my honest opinion.

Now your Queen and Goddess shall bid you adieu,

Her Imperial and Royal Majesty, By the Grace of God, The Defender of the Old Faith, Original Sin, The Queen of Harlots, Roses, Chaos, Heaven, Empress of India, The Tsar of Hell, Ruler of the Underworld,The Whore of Babylon, Heaven, and Hell, Pope of Discord, The Saint of Sinners, Lover to The Beast, Prophetess of the Old Religion, Priestess of the Greek Gods, Hecates' Handmaiden, Sovereign over all, Daniel Ambrosius Devereux.

Heaven and Hell Tea party, also known as Wii Fit Plus Day Two

Hello Minions,

Well I did the first day on Sunday and on Monday I thought I had died and went to hell. When I woke up the only thing I could feel was my head, which was pounding so much I could swear Athena was in there. I woke up around nine in the morning, I didn't get out of bed until two, when I got out of bed was when I felt the rest of my body and I collapsed. I don't normally work out so me wanting to do this willing is like God and the Devil having a tea party, it isn't gonna end well.

I didn't do any workouts or games on Monday, I hurt too much. But I did do the body test, I gained .5 pounds, I was very irritated to say the least, but today Tuesday it says that I've lost 1.1 pounds, suffice it to say I think the game is fucked. But it just saying that I had lost weight, even if the game is fucked, makes me feel a lot better.  When I booted up the game and put in all of my data Sunday it had asked me for a goal, I put twenty pounds in two months, I'm sure I should/could have made it more but I am not the kind of person to commit to a long-term goal. I live in the moment, not in the future. So you can see that I am very impatient, if I want something I go and grab it.

So far I've only done the Hula Hoop game today, I've done it four or five times since I've booted up the Wii. On the Hula game I find it harder to do if I twirl my hips to the left, actually I think I'm getting a Charlie-horse. The Hula Hoop game seems to be the one with the best work out, hell I nearly fell of the board nine times on Sunday.

Sunday I did around sixty Jackknives and they hurt like hell, today I plan on doing thirty or forty I guess it's a good idea to start off small. I actually like the Jackknives, I grew up doing sit-ups and they really didn't seem to do anything, now with the Jackknives I can feel them working and its kinda interesting.  I also did the Free Run game, it's the one where you run in place and can change the channel, I found it quite boring, well Idunno I guess I can run in place.

Matthew plans on taking me to the gym with him and Kendel, He says that I'll be bitching within three minutes of working out. I told him I'll be bitching before I even get in the truck, I mean I'm not happy unless I have something to bitch about. Matthew apparently started to bitch thirty minutes in, at times Matthew could be considered a weak individual, weak as in mental resolve, so I plan to set an alarm of forty minutes in which is when I would start bitching. I have no clue how long I'll be out with them nor when they'll be picking me up, they had better pray to me that when they come for me that I was awake.

Now your Queen and Goddess shall bid you adieu,

Her Imperial and Royal Majesty, By the Grace of God, The Defender of the Old Faith, The Queen of Harlots,  Heaven, and Hell, The Whore of Babylon, Heaven, and Hell,  Queen and Empress, Sovereign over all, Daniel Ambrosius Devereux.

Wii Fit Plus Day One

Hello Minions,

Well I got the Wii Fit a few weeks ago, and I just figured out how to post hyper links on here! The balance board is quite touchy and aggravating, hell I spent twenty minutes trying to make it find me,  it says I have very poor balance.  I like it, its entertaining. My feet are killing me after using it but it was fun, I like the Hoola-Hooping game, but it makes my knees hurt. I did a twenty-minute free run, the free run is where you place the wiimote in your pocket and then run in place, you can also change your television channel so as to watch something it'll tell you when your done.

I'm hoping to do this daily, the Wii not the blogging, then again blogging daily would be good too. I burned nearly five hundred calories so far today and I plan on doing some more in an hour or so.

As with my earlier post we got the van and I plan on posting some pictures, the van isn't very fat people friendly which is one of the reasons I was planning on using the Wii. I need to lose the weight, actually I would love to be about 170ish but that is under-weight and at the moment I'm quite over.  The appropriate weight for me is about 230ish so I hope to be there soon, I set a goal to lose twenty pounds in two months so here's to getting off to a good start.

Goodnight my minions,

Her Imperial and Royal Majesty, By the Grace of God, The Defender of the Old Faith, The Queen of Harlots, The Queen of Heaven and The Queen of Hell, The Whore of Heaven, The Whore of Hell, The Whore of Babylon, Queen and Empress, Sovereign over all, Daniel Ambrosius Devereux.

Oh My Bloody Gods, Money Spell!

Hello my Minions,

We got the loan! Okay so very few people know this but we were trying to get a loan for a car, well a van. As you, my readers, know my brother is paralyzed from the waist down. He hasn't really left the house for four years, the only times he's left the house was for school. Well I got my permit sometime in July and I've yet to drive, so does the fact that I cast a spell for the money make me a bit selfish?

So I cast a money spell, I have two beliefs about magic; the first being magic always works - just not always in the way you expect, and the second being magic always has a price.  The price isn't just the components of the spell - the candles, incense, and  herbs - it's what you give to the universe in response. Then again it might just be the components, magic is unpredictable.

The spell consisted of three numbers of money, the first being a bit over the bare need, so say you need two hundred dollars ask for three hundred. Then it was the exact number, so in the example it was two hundred. Finally the last number under the total, it wasn't the exact amount you'd need but you could scrape by on it, so in this case 125-150.

This spell called for the moon in Taurus and green candles, keep in mind I wrote the spell a year or two ago. So of course when I heard about the needing money the power of the Taurus moon was waning, well near waning. I didn't have green candles but I did have silver, I needed them for an invocation,  which in my opinion silver represents money a lot better.

Magic is simple, it doesn't take the high priest of Guadalupe to make it rain, someone with a basic knowledge can do just the same. As I said magic is simple it takes the most direct path.  You tell it what it can and cannot do, Oh I need money, good-bye Great Aunt Muriel! In the above scenario you needed money and being foolish you didn't set parameters and you might have lost a family member.

So back to the spell, I wrote the formula down on the paper in green ink and a few sigils drawn about. With a few drops of blood and the paper burnt to ash the spell was put out into the universe.

Now back to magic's price, I woke up this morning with a migraine of epic proportions. My arm was numb, my head felt like a cloud of daggers raged like a storm inside, and my stomach churned like the ocean swell. I felt ill yesterday and that should have been the first sign, so now I know my price.

So this witch will take to his bed for the day, well week.

Sincerely,

Her Imperial and Royal Majesty, By the Grace of God, The Defender of the Old Faith, The Queen of Harlots, The Queen of Heaven and The Queen of Hell, The Whore of Heaven, The Whore of Hell, The Whore of Babylon, Queen and Empress, Sovereign over all, Daniel Ambrosius Devereux.

Sovereign ethics and morals.

Greeting Lovelies,

Well its Hallows Eve, the night of witchcraft and the waking dead. It's nearly noon here and I can already feel it, slipping in and out of trance. Winter is coming and with it the cold of death, aren't you all excited?

I don't know about you but Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, it's the day I started the craft. This very day seven years ago, it seems so long ago. I started out in Neo-Wicca and within a few months had quickly evolved into a practice all my own.  I never understood the idea of the Wiccan rede and the Law of Three, it seemed like bollocks. I didn't get the idea of the guardians and watchtowers and circle casting, isn't everything sacred?

Okay so I started writing this on Halloween, it's now November third; I have no clue what my train of thought was, so ya, Happy Holidays.

So like I said I started out in Neo-Wicca and quickly found myself forming my own practice. My morals and ethics are as follows; Get in my way I'll cripple you, Attack or harm me and I'll crush you, Attack or harm my friends and/family and I swear to all the gods I will hunt you down in this world and the next and destroy you. Well that's just my ethics on you people.

Some say that you should never use the craft for money, I say that it's a type of trade so why not? All I tell them is that magic works in the most direct fashion and that it always works, just not in the way that they expect, and if they understand then I'll do the working they ask.

Well its time I get off.

Goodbye Lovelies.

Her Imperial and Royal Majesty, By the Grace of God, The Defender of the Old Faith, Empress and Queen, Sovereign over all, Daniel Devereux.